Britain Bound

Over the past couple of months I have been preparing for my study abroad trip in a lot of different ways. To start with I want to thank everyone who helped me get here: parents, siblings, my boy, and many friends who have traveled themselves. With monetary means, physical prep and mental sanity, I made it. It has finally come!
Leaving behind the people that I love as I walked through security was sad for me, because I wished that they could come with me. At that moment it was a very scary thought in my mind that I would be traveling to a foreign country with unfamiliar people. I'd like to think that was a moment where I faced a fear of mine and I think that this whole trip (the day spent getting from Phoenix to London) has conquered that fear. 
Side note, Aerosmith has been my band of the past month. I'll explain this later.
While sitting on the long plane ride, some thoughts came to mind. Anyone who knows me knows that I am a small girl with an enormous heart. Sometimes I think that because I'm short and small with a quiet voice that people won't care about me or don't  recognize me for certain things. But as is now obvious, little people can do such great things. (So maybe I'm bragging about me, but let it be). I'm halfway across the world! See?!

 And I'm doing it on my own. Sure, people got me here. I've got a group I'm traveling with. But ultimately I had a dream for this experience to come one day and I kept dreaming until this dream came true. And it did! 
I have mixed feelings about how to describe myself. I love being with people and I get attached pretty easily, but I love to do things on my own. I love to make things happen and be the one to instigate it. I love being free and independent to just let my mind take off without others blocking it. Yet, within that independence, I still really enjoy the company of another person. So I'm trying to get at that all this time I've thought I'm small and childish and this trip is just something I'm doing. But as I sat on the plane thinking about what's ahead of me, well I guess I am more of an adult than I think. Perhaps I'm more mature than I let myself believe. God is the one who's gotten me here, no doubt. And maybe, just maybe, when I come home I'll see myself a big person and what others think will not matter so much. Just maybe.

Stay tuned, the juicy details after touchdown come next.

SSS grateful: Dads.

It's gonna be Short.

Hopefully I can make it Sweet.

And above all, know that I am Simply grateful for my dad.

Dad

For 18 years, I have been a part of his life.

From him giving me wheel barrow rides in the front yard to me driving him around for errands, I think I am shaped quite a bit after his ways. Thoughtful minds, an interest in how things work (math and science, sort of), literature, small hands, a terrible fear of heights, a fear of getting hurt (we're both kind of babies when it comes to pain) are a few little things we have in common. 
He's spiritual, so very incredibly smart, has a story for everything, is one of the most sensitive guys I know and 

He's my dad, and he's a keeper. 
Thanks for being there for pretty much everything. Thanks for your example and for guiding me through life. Thanks for supporting the family and staying strong even when all else was weak. These words may be short fed, but I love my dad very much.

Justin Brother-in-law
He's like my second dad, a brother and a go-to guy. For many things in my life I secretly look towards him and wonder what he would have to say about it. With three kids of his own, his goofiness and all, he's on my list of fatherly love.

Matt Brother-in-law
This guy is a smarty. If you ever need something to think about, go spend some time with him and your perspective might change a bit. I know it has with me, making me a better person and looking at certain things with a different eye. Completely worthy of being a father, he's got the love as well.

Matt Brother
What can I say? My brother Matt is the punk I used to beat up all the time when we were little kids, and I never saw that one day he would have a beautiful daughter of his own. He is the hardest worker I know and he will get anything done that he sets his mind to. He is caring, compassionate kind of funny and sometimes weird... but hey, I love him for it. As a brother, he's done well. As a father, he's done even better.

As a girl who is completely boy-crazy, I think I'm partial to my dads. Thanks to every dad out there who has touched my life. If I know you, you probably have. Keep up the good influencing and know that you are loved.

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY

A Memorial for the Death of a Lifelong Friend (Not really)

Something like four and a half years ago, I found myself a device (inherited from my brother) that became a great friend. It is known as a BlackBerry Pearl, aka my phone.

About a month ago, I played a little too hard one night and didn't bother to take care of it, which resulted in it dying even more than it already was. The whole middle row of keys stopped working and for the past month I haven't been able to use the following characters: T, Y, G, H, B, N, 2, 5, 8, 0 and the space bar. Imagine how much I haven't been able to do with my phone!!!! Ah!

But alas, I cracked. I finally gave in and decided I was well overdue for a new phone. A touchscreen smartphone, for that matter. 

It happened last night.

I went from this...  To this...

I'll have you know that I loved that BlackBerry. It served me so well for everything I could ever NEED in a phone. I'm sure I dropped that thing over 5000 times and still it stayed with me. He was a fighter. He was slow. But he always got me through.

Even though I may have shed a tear as I switched phones last night, I am very excited to have a phone that can now do anything I would WANT it to, and do it coherently with the entire alphabet, plus some. We'll see just how long it takes me to drop it (knock on wood)...

The difference may take a bit to get used to, but I am in love with it already. 

Don't call me preachy, just take a look inside.

There is no human I know that is perfect. I, for one, am far from it.

But isn't one of our major goals in life to try to become the best that we can be?

Shouldn't we always be constantly striving towards that direction?

If so, then when is it OK for us to slip up a bit? Is that even acceptable? 

Aren't there times in life when we just really desire in our hearts to be a good person, but the things that we do alone in our life don't necessarily reflect that?

These questions, among many similar others, have been on my mind profusely over the past five weeks or so. 

I have been mentally, spiritually and emotionally battling with myself over what it is in my life that I'm doing right/wrong and what I need to do/not do. For a couple of months I just couldn't ignore the feeling inside of me that I'm not where I need to be; not physically speaking, but in every other aspect. Part of me thought, "Stupid Satan, get out of my head! I'm perfectly fine with who I am." But still, I couldn't shake the feeling that I'm not up to par with where God needs me to be. I feel like we just weren't on the same ladder for a while, and somehow I needed to climb back on board with Him.

We are told and given all the resources that we need to succeed in life. So why is it that sometimes we don't use them? Why is it so hard to begin the simplest of tasks? WHY oh WHY do we let ourselves fall so far away from the top when the rope to climb back up has been dangling beside us the whole time?
I'm not saying these are my problems, but I just wonder the answers because at some point in our lives we're all there...

So, about me. Maybe I haven't been using all of the resources I've been given. Maybe for a while I was living on hope more than I was on faith. I slipped, and maybe, just maybe, I got stuck and even though no one around me could see it, there was a big black hole growing around me. And in order for me get back up to par, to feel like I was aiming towards being the best person I can be, I had to make a change. 
So this is what I did.

Prior to last week I had been pondering, praying, etc. about my life and where I need to be going. Again, my heart was telling me three things while my mind was telling me three different things. For a stubborn and indecisive girl, this sure makes it tough to decipher what is really the best.

Anywho, at the end of the week I had had enough. If the change I made wasn't changing how I felt, then I needed to find a change to make me. And really, that is perfectly what happened.

My Plan of Awesomeness

On Sunday May 25th I decided that every day for the next week I would go to the LDS Mesa Temple and serve by being baptized for those who have passed away (yes, I'm a Mormon if ya didn't know). Then I would workout every day as well because physically being active makes a huge impact on my clarity.

Day one: I went on a hike at sunset with fabulous friends. 

Day two: I woke up (an hour late) and did baptisms.

Day three: I woke up to do baptisms at eight o'clock and then went for a scorching run afterwards. This is also the day I hit a road block.

Day four: I woke up and went to do baptisms at eight o'clock, however when I got to the Temple I didn't go inside. I was pretty discouraged from my new road block and what I truly needed more than anything was to have a heart-to-heart with God. So I sat on the grass under a tree, pulled out my notebook and tackled my thoughts. That was a really good plan, indeed. Then I walked around the Temple with my pal and we went swimming afterwards.

Day five: I woke up and did baptisms again at eight o'clock.

Day six: I woke up and went to do more baptisms at 7:30am. I later went back to the visitors center at the Temple with my dad and we watched a video together.

Day seven: My church had stake conference, a large church meeting with members from multiple buildings, and I was blessed to take a sweet new investigator friend and listen to exactly what I needed to hear.

The very next day, Monday June 3rd, I started a challenge I was issued to read The Book of Mormon from cover to cover in sixty days.

One of my favorite parts about all of this is that my amazing best friend came with me for all of it that he could, and he did so very willingly. I'll let it be known that he is part of what pushed me to change and I am very blessed to have a friend like him.

My plan to be in the House of the Lord every day of the week actually turned out a lot better than I thought it would. I went in search of answers, in search of peace and a better me. I'm pretty positive I recovered all three.

I don't intend for this to be braggy, so I apologize if it sounds that way. My point is that our actions make all the difference when we're looking for a difference, sometimes it just takes a while to get there. I just wanted to share some thoughts that have been a part of me lately. I want everyone out there to know that life is wonderful. It is incredible, intriguing, amazing and so very wonderful. If you don't believe that then I highly suggest that you go find out that it is. I don't want you to miss out on anything. 

One last thing... you as a reader have some homework. Go read Alma Chapter 7 in the Book of Mormon. This is a section of scripture that I've read, re-read and read again along my journey, and I do believe it has made a big impact on me. I started with verses 9-13, and then I read verses 18-21, then verses 9-17 and finish through 18-27 (that's just me, read however you'd like. But I'll tell you, it is awesome).