Don't call me preachy, just take a look inside.

There is no human I know that is perfect. I, for one, am far from it.

But isn't one of our major goals in life to try to become the best that we can be?

Shouldn't we always be constantly striving towards that direction?

If so, then when is it OK for us to slip up a bit? Is that even acceptable? 

Aren't there times in life when we just really desire in our hearts to be a good person, but the things that we do alone in our life don't necessarily reflect that?

These questions, among many similar others, have been on my mind profusely over the past five weeks or so. 

I have been mentally, spiritually and emotionally battling with myself over what it is in my life that I'm doing right/wrong and what I need to do/not do. For a couple of months I just couldn't ignore the feeling inside of me that I'm not where I need to be; not physically speaking, but in every other aspect. Part of me thought, "Stupid Satan, get out of my head! I'm perfectly fine with who I am." But still, I couldn't shake the feeling that I'm not up to par with where God needs me to be. I feel like we just weren't on the same ladder for a while, and somehow I needed to climb back on board with Him.

We are told and given all the resources that we need to succeed in life. So why is it that sometimes we don't use them? Why is it so hard to begin the simplest of tasks? WHY oh WHY do we let ourselves fall so far away from the top when the rope to climb back up has been dangling beside us the whole time?
I'm not saying these are my problems, but I just wonder the answers because at some point in our lives we're all there...

So, about me. Maybe I haven't been using all of the resources I've been given. Maybe for a while I was living on hope more than I was on faith. I slipped, and maybe, just maybe, I got stuck and even though no one around me could see it, there was a big black hole growing around me. And in order for me get back up to par, to feel like I was aiming towards being the best person I can be, I had to make a change. 
So this is what I did.

Prior to last week I had been pondering, praying, etc. about my life and where I need to be going. Again, my heart was telling me three things while my mind was telling me three different things. For a stubborn and indecisive girl, this sure makes it tough to decipher what is really the best.

Anywho, at the end of the week I had had enough. If the change I made wasn't changing how I felt, then I needed to find a change to make me. And really, that is perfectly what happened.

My Plan of Awesomeness

On Sunday May 25th I decided that every day for the next week I would go to the LDS Mesa Temple and serve by being baptized for those who have passed away (yes, I'm a Mormon if ya didn't know). Then I would workout every day as well because physically being active makes a huge impact on my clarity.

Day one: I went on a hike at sunset with fabulous friends. 

Day two: I woke up (an hour late) and did baptisms.

Day three: I woke up to do baptisms at eight o'clock and then went for a scorching run afterwards. This is also the day I hit a road block.

Day four: I woke up and went to do baptisms at eight o'clock, however when I got to the Temple I didn't go inside. I was pretty discouraged from my new road block and what I truly needed more than anything was to have a heart-to-heart with God. So I sat on the grass under a tree, pulled out my notebook and tackled my thoughts. That was a really good plan, indeed. Then I walked around the Temple with my pal and we went swimming afterwards.

Day five: I woke up and did baptisms again at eight o'clock.

Day six: I woke up and went to do more baptisms at 7:30am. I later went back to the visitors center at the Temple with my dad and we watched a video together.

Day seven: My church had stake conference, a large church meeting with members from multiple buildings, and I was blessed to take a sweet new investigator friend and listen to exactly what I needed to hear.

The very next day, Monday June 3rd, I started a challenge I was issued to read The Book of Mormon from cover to cover in sixty days.

One of my favorite parts about all of this is that my amazing best friend came with me for all of it that he could, and he did so very willingly. I'll let it be known that he is part of what pushed me to change and I am very blessed to have a friend like him.

My plan to be in the House of the Lord every day of the week actually turned out a lot better than I thought it would. I went in search of answers, in search of peace and a better me. I'm pretty positive I recovered all three.

I don't intend for this to be braggy, so I apologize if it sounds that way. My point is that our actions make all the difference when we're looking for a difference, sometimes it just takes a while to get there. I just wanted to share some thoughts that have been a part of me lately. I want everyone out there to know that life is wonderful. It is incredible, intriguing, amazing and so very wonderful. If you don't believe that then I highly suggest that you go find out that it is. I don't want you to miss out on anything. 

One last thing... you as a reader have some homework. Go read Alma Chapter 7 in the Book of Mormon. This is a section of scripture that I've read, re-read and read again along my journey, and I do believe it has made a big impact on me. I started with verses 9-13, and then I read verses 18-21, then verses 9-17 and finish through 18-27 (that's just me, read however you'd like. But I'll tell you, it is awesome).